Since When Was Excellence Disappointing?

Poor Darcy. So young, so much to learn.

Quick recap: Darcy competed in the school Speech Meet a few weeks ago and tied for first place, then won the run-off to go to District. Okay, you're up to speed.

Yesterday was the District Speech Meet, and roughly twenty schools converged on Pantego Christian Academy bright and early in the morning. Parents were not allowed to watch their children compete this time around, so my day was largely spent waiting--waiting for Darcy's number to be called, waiting for Darcy to finish competing, waiting for the awards ceremony. Yawn.

Now I've had Darcy for a while, and I'm pretty accustomed to her competitive nature. It usually serves her well: anything worth doing is worth doing well are words she lives by. And depending on how you look at it, she has either been unusually lucky or she does a lot of things really well, judging from the number of ribbons she's racking up.

The difference, obviously, between the school meet and the district meet is that Darcy would now be competing against "the best of the best," and although she went into the competition with plenty of confidence, she looked decidedly less confident after her performance. I asked her how she felt she'd done and she said, "Well, I think I did BADLY." When I asked why she felt that way she summed it up in these words: "Everybody else was SO dramatic!" It seems sacrilegious to say that any part of the Bible is boring, but in point of fact Darcy chose a selection that absolutely did NOT lend itself to drama, so what could she do? And in that moment, for the first time, she doubted her choice, she doubted her performance, and sadly, she doubted her worth.

Sure enough, Darcy's instincts were right on the money and rather than getting the Superior ribbon she'd hoped for, she had to settle for Excellent. And cue the waterworks. Fortunately, Darcy doesn't make a scene when she fails to come in first, but she can't seem to help herself. She had a big smile on her face as she made her way back to her seat, but very soon I heard the familiar sniffling and saw her wiping her tears surreptitiously. Darcy's best friend's mother suggested that I take her to get an ice cream sundae to cheer her up, but I had a slightly different idea.

We had thirty minutes to kill before picking Tyler up, so we ran across the street to Braum's. As we were walking toward the door Darcy thanked me for taking her for ice cream, and it was clear remorse was already setting in. She said, "I don't mean to be discontent, Mom, I'm just disappointed." I told her I understood her disappointment, but I also told her that when she succumbs to tears at an event such as this, it lessens the joy that others should be feeling at their triumph because they're too concerned about Darcy's feelings. I also urged her to consider what it says about all the kids who didn't even make it to District--does she think they're all losers? No, of course not, Darcy assured me, but the point was made.

And then Darcy made my day when she made my point for me. She said, "I would have been content not to even GO to District!" I said, "Exactly! When you won your blue ribbon a few weeks ago you were completely happy, and if you had been told that you lost the run-off you wouldn't have cared! But you DIDN'T lose! You won and got to go even further! And NOW you're disappointed?" Needless to say, before we left Braum's Darcy had gained some perspective--I think she may have even wagged her red ribbon in Tyler's face when we picked him up!