July
4, 1996: At approximately 8:30 p.m. Randy and I elected not to head to
our friends’ home to watch the Independence Day fireworks display as we
were invited to do, but rather to pay heed to the increasing pains
plaguing my nine-months-pregnant body by heading to the hospital. My
anticipated due date being still seven days away, one might think we
were merely acting like anxious parents-to-be;
to be sure, anxiety mingled with equal parts uncertainty and
anticipation. After all, this child was special. This child had defied
the odds. This child had proven to us and to the enemy that God is so
much bigger than anything he can throw at us. Take that, Satan!
Sometimes I wonder if this child knew in utero how greatly he would be loved, indeed how loved and cherished he was already. Could he feel the special care I took throughout my pregnancy to ensure that, once embedded, this baby would not be separated from me until I was good and ready? Did he feel warm? Cozy? Secure? He must have, because ultimately it took a little earthly intervention to convince this child that the time had come to separate!
After laboring all night but being denied the experience of having my water break (yay?), at about 7:30 a.m. on July 5 the new obstetrician on call made the decision to help me along and so, just a few moments later, Tyler Neal Todd (TNT to the unobservant) was ushered into the world. I didn’t know it then but at 8:11 a.m. on July 5, 1996, I was given one of the greatest gifts I will EVER receive. It has been such an enormous privilege to raise this child and to watch him grow into a man. His tender heart, his integrity, his sense of humor, his loyalty to those he loves, his desire to do the right thing—these things endear him to me. And while our bodies were physically separated seventeen years ago, the unconditional love I feel for this child will forever tether him to me.
Tyler, I know you won’t see this until tomorrow when you’re down from the mountains in New Mexico, but I want you to know that the last seventeen years have been an intense mix of sorrow, joy, pain, pleasure, shame, pride . . . sorrow, pain and shame at how lacking I have been as a mom at times, and joy, pleasure and pride at the man you have become in spite of me! Seriously, though, no one but your Father in heaven could love you more than I do, and I can’t wait to see you again!! HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY!
Sometimes I wonder if this child knew in utero how greatly he would be loved, indeed how loved and cherished he was already. Could he feel the special care I took throughout my pregnancy to ensure that, once embedded, this baby would not be separated from me until I was good and ready? Did he feel warm? Cozy? Secure? He must have, because ultimately it took a little earthly intervention to convince this child that the time had come to separate!
After laboring all night but being denied the experience of having my water break (yay?), at about 7:30 a.m. on July 5 the new obstetrician on call made the decision to help me along and so, just a few moments later, Tyler Neal Todd (TNT to the unobservant) was ushered into the world. I didn’t know it then but at 8:11 a.m. on July 5, 1996, I was given one of the greatest gifts I will EVER receive. It has been such an enormous privilege to raise this child and to watch him grow into a man. His tender heart, his integrity, his sense of humor, his loyalty to those he loves, his desire to do the right thing—these things endear him to me. And while our bodies were physically separated seventeen years ago, the unconditional love I feel for this child will forever tether him to me.
Tyler, I know you won’t see this until tomorrow when you’re down from the mountains in New Mexico, but I want you to know that the last seventeen years have been an intense mix of sorrow, joy, pain, pleasure, shame, pride . . . sorrow, pain and shame at how lacking I have been as a mom at times, and joy, pleasure and pride at the man you have become in spite of me! Seriously, though, no one but your Father in heaven could love you more than I do, and I can’t wait to see you again!! HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY!
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