It's Never Easy to Say Goodbye

If Randy only knew what I was doing right now. . . It's Tuesday afternoon and we're still in Grove City--surprise! It occurred to me a few days ago that we wouldn't be hitting the road first thing in the morning because--duh!--the movers would actually have to LOAD everything that the packers boxed up the day before! I have been in withdrawal for over 24 hours because that's how long my computer has been boxed up, and I couldn't even sneak onto Randy's laptop because they boxed up the modem!!! Anyway, I am at the church building because Randy and I dragged our feet about submitting a change of address form to the post office, and it absolutely HAD to be done today. I ran to the post office, only to glance at the written form and realize that Randy failed to sign it, so I decided simply to submit our request online (something that, yes, we could have done weeks ago). I thought, "Hey, I'll just run to the library--since it appears that will be my new blogging spot, I might as well start getting used to it!" Who knew that 2:00 on a Tuesday afternoon would be rush hour at the library?! Every computer was spoken for and I had a 15-minute wait in front of me, so here we are. And now my change of address request has been submitted and then I thought, "Hmmm, here I sit with the internet open before me . . . is there anything I need to do while I'm here???" So now, I finally have a chance to post what follows, which I began writing several days ago before my computer was so cruelly torn from me!

I've been seeing my life in song the last couple of days and wanted my last official post coming from Grove City to give you a glimpse into my heart and the hearts of Randy and the kids.

On Saturday as I was bustling about the house, I had a CD by Selah called Press On playing on the stereo. The third cut off this album is a song called In My Life/If We Never Meet Again, which is really two songs in one. The second half is what I really zeroed in on as I was singing, and thought it was cool that God laid it on my heart to play that particular CD at the time. I wish I could figure out a way to include the audio version--maybe someone who's a little more technologically advanced can teach me in the future. Read the lyrics below and then I'll have some more comments.

In My Life/If We Never Meet Again (4:11)
In My Life (John Lennon, Paul McCartney)

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever and not for better
Some are gone and some remain

All these places have their moments
With people and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
But in my life, I loved them all

But of all these friends and loved ones
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and friends that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
But in my life I loved you more

If We Never Meet Again (Albert E. Brumley)

Soon we'll come to the end of life's journey
And perhaps we'll never meet anymore
Till we gather in heaven's bright city
Far away on that beautiful shore

If we never meet again this side of heaven
As we struggle through this world and its strife
There's another meeting place somewhere in heaven
By the beautiful river of life

Where the charming roses bloom forever
And separations come no more
If we never meet again this side of heaven
I will meet you on that beautiful shore

© 1965 (renewed) Sony/ATV Songs LLC. All rights administered by Sony/ATV Music Publishing, 8 Music Square West, Nashville, TN 37203. All Rights Reserved. Used By Permission./© 1945 Renewed 1973 Stamps Quartet Music (BMI) (admin. by ICG). All Rights Reserved. Used By Permission.


Fast forward to Sunday night . . . we had a good turnout at church and it was REALLY time to say good-bye. Sunday was a very emotional day for me (I apologize if I've already said that before--as I said, this post has been written on for several days so I forget what I said back then, and I'm in too big a hurry to go back and read it!) but I was not prepared for the kids to have a complete meltdown. As Tyler, Darcy and I sat in our van in the driveway Sunday night around 9:00 p.m., with tears pouring down our faces, part of me wondered, "What were we thinking, uprooting our kids like this? What have we DONE???" Tyler is my sensitive child to begin with, and his pain couldn't have affected me any more deeply if he had stabbed me in the heart with a knife!

Jonathan, if you're reading this, I wanted to call you Sunday night to tell you this but I don't believe I would have been coherent enough to be understood--I just couldn't have gotten through it. I'm sure you had no way of knowing how your "gift" of the photograph of you and Tyler as a toddler would have affected him, but he sobbed his heart out all the way home. Somehow, that photo crystallized and encompassed all the love that the people here have for Tyler, and it moved him to tears--a LOT of tears. He, Darcy and I just sat there, all scrunched up in the van, arms around one another, and cried 'til we couldn't cry anymore.

Later, as I was going back over the events of the evening and thinking about Tyler's strong reaction, this song by Wynonna Judd popped into my head. Again, I wish I knew how to post an audio version but I don't. The last verse and the chorus really say it all.


Jimmy climbs on board that old yellow bus
It sure looks big in his little eyes
His mama waits as her tears kick up the dust
It's never easy to say goodbye

Julie Ray in her pearl white wedding gown
Has found her wings and it's time to fly
It's all her dad can do to keep from breakin' down
It's never easy to say goodbye

[ Chorus ] It ain't easy
To ever say goodbye
It ain't easy
Lettin' go of the ones you love
But believe me
We'll meet again by and by
If not here
Then somewhere up above

I've had some friends that I lost along the way
They've been called on down the line
Though their time was short, I think about them every day
And it ain't easy to say goodbye

[ Repeat Chorus ]

Now the time has come to go our separate ways
And it's all right if you want to cry
And though I know, we'll meet again someday
It's never easy to say goodbye

[ Repeat Chorus ]

Indeed, it's never easy to say goodbye but as so many of you have told us, we're not saying "Good-bye," we're just saying "We'll see you later." And with that, to all you readers of my blog, I am not saying, "Good-bye," but I am officially signing off from Grove City and will talk to you again when I am a resident of the Lone Star State!