The One Where The Preacher Is Knocked Off His Pedestal

Well, the bloom is off the rose. That angelic golden aura surrounding the new preacher has dissolved like so much stardust. Yes, Stardust. What happened was this:

I had a fairly busy day planned yesterday in which I was going to have lunch with the wife of one of our elders, and then I had an afternoon meeting scheduled with the 5th grade Science teacher at PCA, during which she would attempt to explain to a newbie (that would be me) the ins and outs of the Science Fair. Oh, did I mention that one of the requirements of all 5th graders at PCA is mandatory participation in the Science Fair? Shoot me now. This meeting was arranged by Tracy, as Brennan will also be taking part in the Science Fair and she would like for him to glean as much good from the experience as possible; for my part, I couldn't care less WHAT Tyler gets out of it--let's just get him through it! Heaven help us.

My lunch was scheduled for 11:30 at a tea room that's situated in an Antique Mall. Terri said she goes there once every couple of months but I told her she obviously has made quite an impression on the staff because she was greeted warmly when we arrived, and we were told to choose whichever table we wanted. Well, lah-di-dah! We laughed and talked and ate and before I knew it, more than 2-1/2 hours had passed! Since we both had more (not necessarily bigger) fish to fry, we parted ways a little after 2:00.

I headed to Target to pick up some batteries and to try to find a thermos for Darcy--no luck (on the thermos, that is)--and then skedaddled to the house, where I had perhaps ten minutes to kill before leaving again to pick up Tyler and Darcy from school. Randy was HARD at work in the garage--he is determined that we will eventually get BOTH vehicles parked inside, though I have absolutely no idea what he's planning to do with the ten, count 'em, TEN bicycles that we brought with us from Ohio--and I guess he'd decided that he'd earned a night off because before I left for my meeting, he told me to ask Tracy if she and her kids wanted to come over for pizza and a movie that evening. (Rick, Tracy's husband, is in Ecuador on a medical missions trip and will be home Sunday, for you curiosity hounds.) And not just any movie; no, he specifically requested that I pick up Stardust for our viewing pleasure.

After collecting Tyler and Darcy from the drive-thru, we marched toward the firing squad, er, I mean we walked to Mrs. Turner's room--have I mentioned how much I dread the Science Fair?--and waited for her to arrive. This might be a good time to mention that when I e-mailed Randy the appointment time for the meeting, I took the opportunity to ask/beg him not to "leave me hanging out to dry" with this Science Fair thing and his kind, oh-so-compassionate response was, "How long do you think it will take you to dry?" That's some great guy I've got!

I was pleasantly surprised by the meeting with Mrs. Turner, in that she graciously pulled out a number of her kids' past Science Fair entries and let us get a good feel for what would be expected of us. She also had a photo album that I passed to Brennan and Tyler for a peek. I think Brennan's got this thing sewn up but Tyler is another story. All of this is SO new to him, and I thought it would be a good idea if he had some pictures in his mind of what a Science Fair project actually looks like.

After we wrapped things up I extended the invitation to Tracy, who accepted with one notation: She said she already had informal plans with Lori and her son Blake and if they could be included in our plans, then it was a party! Of course I said yes, and off we went. On the way to our cars, Tracy said, "Of course, if we want to watch the movie on the BIG screen . . . ." Merry Christmas, Spear Family! So, we tweaked our plans slightly and decided to assemble at Tracy's house.

My first clue that our plans were probably made too hastily was when we got to Blockbuster and I had Stardust in my hand. Darcy turned condemnatory eyes on me and said, "Mom, that video is too violent! I read where someone bleeds blue blood!" I was like, "Well, that won't be so gory, right?" 'Cause that's the kind of good, upstanding Christian mom I am. We came home and collected everyone else and headed over to the Spears' house by way of Sonic (we had to get a bag of ice--EVERYTHING is better with Sonic ice!) where the party was already underway. Oh, but first we had to have the discussion in the van about the fact that, whoops, the movie was rated PG-13 and what were we going to do without TV Guardian? Things were not boding well.

So we got to Tracy's house, we ate our pizza, we popped our popcorn, and then we all settled down for the movie. Four adults and 6 children under the age of 11. To watch a PG-13 movie. That we had not previewed. I will not go into detail except to say that in the first ten minutes we witnessed the suggestion of premarital sex, the birth of a baby born out of wedlock, an unsuspecting man's murder and the quick, brutal slaughter of a poor, defenseless dog. Alrighty then! Twelve pairs of eyes turned on us accusingly and someone who shall remain nameless said, "What kind of preacher have we hired?!" Uh-oh, the secret is out!

The evening was saved when Tracy switched to Pay-Per-View and found the family-friendly Underdog and quickly loaded it. Of course, Randy couldn't resist getting a little dig in to try and redeem himself when he pointed out that the whole plot of Underdog revolves around thwarting the malevolent mastermind Barsinister and his slightly doofus-y henchman Cad. Yeah, depraved mad scientists and nefarious plots to overthrow the metropolis are so virtuous. I hope there's enough room on the pews when we all go forward on Sunday to ask forgiveness for corrupting our youth.