It's Alive!

It's been a while since I've told a good story, hasn't it? Well, since I'm basically laid up today it occurred to me that I never told the story of the Great Roach Incident from earlier this week. So now is a perfect time to get you all caught up!

As I have blogged about exhaustively, we spent many a day at Six Flags during our "stay-cation." As we were trying to be law-abiding citizens, we refrained from bringing any contraband into the park, and it wasn't until this past Monday that I discovered that the S.F. attendants had actually softened their stance and were allowing people to bring items such as bottled water into the park. Until that time, we had been filling a large Thermos with ice water and leaving it in the van. Naturally, it didn't do us a whole lot of good out in the parking lot when we weren't coming home until 10:30 p.m., but Randy was determined to bring it anyway.

So Monday night we came dragging into the house and the first thing I did was head toward the kitchen sink to dump the remaining contents of our Thermos down the drain. Everything happened so quickly that I'm not even entirely sure of the scene but what I DO remember is that when I plunked the Thermos down on the countertop, a b.i.g. black roach JUMPED up in the air and then skittered back into the sink. I was so startled that I shrieked hysterically and jumped back about five feet and, just like a row of dominoes, all the kids shrieked hysterically and went running; first Tyler, then Darcy, then Peyton, and finally Sawyer, who likely had absolutely no idea why he was shrieking but nonetheless worked himself up pretty well. All the while, Randy was looking at us in amazement and I could swear I heard him thinking, "This must be what the minister meant when he asked me if I promised to love her for better or for worse."

Actually, I think this would more accurately fall into the category of "in sickness and in health" because what I have is most definitely a sickness. But seriously, doesn't the sight of these critters make you feel like something is crawling on you?



Randy carefully walked over to the sink and grabbed the cockroach out with a paper towel, but the beast was flapping its wings and giving Randy what-for so Randy dropped it and squished it right there on the ceramic tile. Ewwwwww. I apologized profusely to the kids for turning them all into screaming wimps (no, of course I didn't really call them screaming wimps) and admitted that I had overreacted, and then I went on about the business of cleaning out the Thermos and returning it to the garage.

And what occurred next was just like something out of Friday the 13th Part XXIV (can no one off that pesky Jason? And just how many lives does this kid get???). I stepped out into the garage to put the Thermos away and to water my poor little Supertunia which is really starting to look a little worse for the wear, and suddenly I heard more screams--bloodcurdling, stop-you-in-your-tracks screams, the kind of screams that raise the hair on the back of your neck. For a moment I was afraid to go back in the house for fear of what I'd find. Can you say "overactive imagination"???

Turns out that Randy stupidly asked the kids if they wanted to see the cockroach close up since he'd squished it, and they even more stupidly agreed. Apparently, when they approached the cockroach, it miraculously started flailing its antennae and trying to crawl toward them; at least, that's the story I got later. At the moment, though, all I could think was, "If they don't knock it off the neighbors are going to call the police!" And sure enough, when I went back outside a little later to turn off the light and close the garage door, the blinds in our neighbors' window were hanging askew, as though they had wondered about the ruckus and then thought better of their curiosity and when ducking for cover.

Jason is looking better and better.