Rubber-Necking

What does it say about my kids that, when confronted with a child who is behaving badly, my girls completely tune out the tantrum but my boys are mesmerized by the spectacle? On Thursday we were at Michael's buying a couple of items to make several "tithing-man's church sticks" to go with our History Pockets, and a girl who was definitely old enough to know better (according to Tyler, at least) had a major meltdown at the register in front of us. Perhaps the reason Darcy didn't appear to observe the girl's outburst was because she was so busy calculating how much money she would need to buy a craft item she had just seen; and Peyton was rifling through the Easter displays so she was oblivious to everyone and everything.

Tyler and Sawyer, on the other hand, were simply riveted by the scene that unfolded in front of us--Sawyer actually looked pretty sympathetic and just said to me, "That girl is so crying!" Bless Tyler's heart, I could tell he didn't want to stare (in fact, I was trying to maintain eye contact with him simply so he would NOT stare) but it was like watching a train wreck. I would like to think I have grown enough as a parent to know that things are not always what they seem, and indeed this child appeared to me to perhaps have some issues preventing her from keeping it together on her own (that is, she didn't merely look like a bratty child who wasn't getting her way), but Tyler's sympathy was clearly with the mother who was doing her best to make her purchases and get out of the store with her dignity intact.

I witnessed a lot of grace in the ten minutes or so that it took for the clerk to ring up the mother's purchases. The mom was clearly put-out, there is no doubt about it, but she was infinitely patient and did not appear embarrassed or ashamed of her daughter's tantrum; and even the clerk, who could have sped through the checkout process, avoiding eye contact and trying her best to get them out of the store as quickly as possible, was very kind and gracious. She spoke in a soothing voice to the girl and was so kind to the mom. And THANK GOODNESS, when it was our turn to check out the clerk made no mention of the previous incident, there was no eye-rolling or expelling of breath in a relieved sigh . . . she just went on with her business as usual, inquiring about our items and taking an interest in what we were planning to make.

This was one of those times when what was NOT said will have more of a long-term impact than anything that might have been spoken aloud. I want my kids to learn compassion, tolerance, patience--all traits I have struggled with in the past, and still struggle with occasionally--and the incident at Michael's was a good lesson in all three.