The Power of Negative Thinking

The kids and I succumbed to peer pressure--well, I did, anyway--and got flu shots on Wednesday. PCA was touting a "Flu Shot Clinic" with immunizations for $25, and for our convenience they were being administered in the school library. Since Tyler and Darcy have already proven to have "compromised" immune systems due to their asthma, getting the flu shot just seemed like the right thing to do. I had also recently seen a news item that urged parents to have their children protected because these new virulent strains are so resistant to treatment and potentially lethal. So, the decision was made.

When we walked into the library it was relatively quiet and only a few people had begun to gather. An official-looking person sat at a table with the school nurse, flanked by stacks of papers and several ball-point pens. I approached the table and told the woman that I would have four children receiving the shot but that they were not all present at the moment. Tyler, who was not thrilled with the idea of getting a shot, eventually appeared and said he had been "looking for me outside." Uh-HUH. And Darcy was still in class, so I sent Peyton to find her and let her know where we were. Sawyer, meanwhile, sat at a table and thumbed through a book while watching the slowly increasing crowd of children move through the line.

The first hint that this might not be as easy as it looked came just a moment later, when a child who had been perfectly calm until it was time for him to take a seat in the chair suddenly became quite agitated. The woman administering the shots pulled everything she had out of her bag of tricks but this kid wasn't falling for any of them and suddenly, the line that we were promised would "move quickly" slowed to a crawl. The father who was with the child tried in vain to distract the child long enough for the woman to jab the needle in his arm, but naturally he squealed like a stuck pig. Nice.

I finished up my paperwork and was told that we could take our place at the end of the line. Peyton appeared right about then, minus Darcy. Her class was late getting out, apparently. Since I didn't want to stand in line until we were all together, I sat down with Sawyer and Peyton stood next to me. I noticed that Sawyer had a sort of disgruntled look on his face and I asked him what was wrong. "I want that boy to stop crying--he's making me crazy!" I've gotta be honest, he was making me a little crazy, too. If we had only known what was in store . . .

No sooner did the squealer collect his piece of candy (for being brave??) and leave the library than a little girl (we'll call her Susie), the daughter of a teacher, no less, began pitching a fit that you would have had to hear to believe. There was screaming, there was crying, there was pleading . . . and that was all from the mom! Seriously, this teacher is clearly one tough, no-nonsense gal because she was NOT going to put up with this junk from Susie. She told her repeatedly to "Stop it! STOP. IT. Do you hear me? Stop it right now!" to no avail. Unfortunately for us and everyone else in the room, there were still a good five or six kids in front of Susie, so we were in for quite a show. Sure enough, it didn't take two minutes before three or four other kids had joined in the raucous din. Hoo boy.

Peyton, who is ever-stoic when she has to get shots, got big pools of tears in her eyes just standing at the table and I was thinking, "Not you too! You never mind shots!" Sure enough, she said, "I'm not afraid of the shot but she's making me feel scared." I was like, "You know what? Some kids are just that way and you've just got to shake it off. The flu shot is nothing. (Like I would know.) You're going to be fine." Sawyer, meanwhile, was just about fit to be tied that Susie wouldn't for the love of everything that is good in the world just! stop! crying!!! I'm telling you, it was bad.

Darcy finally appeared and we took our place. We were treated to the most ear-splitting shriek I've ever heard as Susie was wrestled into place and given the deathly dose. Then she was gone and . . . aaaaahhhhh, peace, sweet peace. And in no time at all it was our turn, and by this time there was quite a line behind us. Now if you think about it, there was quite a to-do when it was our turn because the nurse was trying to be efficient but there were, after all, four immunizations to be administered. She elected to go ahead and prepare all four syringes at once, and she enlisted my help in peeling off the paper backing on the little mini Band-aids that she would be applying to the injection site. I don't know why I worry about things like this but suddenly I felt extremely exposed and in the way. Call me crazy.

Sawyer was first up, and he plopped down in the chair. I'm pretty sure his nerves were shot from all the hubbub that had occurred previously, so he was kind of on edge as the needle approached. He had his arm cocked at a funny angle and I urged him to relax it at his side, but it was like he was trying to keep his shirt sleeve from getting in the way, you know? So it probably pinched a bit and when he stood up to get his piece of candy, he had that all-too-familiar look on his face that everybody around here has seen--his nose wrinkles up, he purses his lips; I'll have to try to find a picture because he used to make this face all the time when he was angry.

Tyler sat down next and, though he wouldn't have admitted it, he was NOT happy that he was having to submit to this indignity. As soon as the nurse popped the Band-aid on his arm he exclaimed very loudly, for EVERYONE in the room to hear, "OH MY GOODNESS! THAT SO DID NOT HURT!!!" Everybody laughed and I realized that in the two seconds it took for him to utter those words, I had been unconsciously holding my breath because I totally thought he was going to go the other way. And it was funny--as soon as he had finished his proclamation Sawyer countered, "Yuh-huh, Tyler, it did too hurt!"

Next it was Peyton's turn, and Sawyer got right in her face: "Peyton, this is really going to hurt!" I heard a few people chuckle and I was like, "Would you STOP?!" Peyton, and Darcy too, for that matter, agreed with Tyler's assessment and that was that. And then,

"You're not getting a shot?"

"Excuse me, what?"

"You're not getting a shot yourself?"

Ah, the spotlight is back. I hate the spotlight. "Um, well, you see, I only made out my check for four shots, and I didn't fill out any paperwork, and I really just wanted to make sure my kids were protected, and . . ."

At that moment, from across the room the school nurse rose from her seat, strode over to me and said, "You know, you can just fill the paperwork out afterwards." Well, how could I say "no" to that??! So for the first time in my life, I got the flu shot and I've got to say, it was a snap. I knew it would be--in the fall they're always showing footage on TV of people getting the flu shot and nobody's ever crying or carrying on. I mean, what kind of public service announcement would that be??! My arm was kind of sore afterwards, though, probably because MY arm was cocked at a funny angle--helping Sawyer unwrap his candy.

And for the first time in what seems like months, Sawyer has talked about something other than Star Wars for the past two days. Now it seems all he wants to talk about is the flu shot and how much it hurt. Not that it hurt HIM, mind you, but that doesn't seem to matter. He keeps retelling the story of "the boy with the big circle tears" who evidently got to him just a little. And he's had a bit of a cough this week so now, every time he's overcome he says, "Mom, I need another flu shot!"