Taking the Easy Way Out

This morning I woke up feeling vaguely anxious about the task that lay ahead: finding a Halloween costume for Tyler. Our congregation is hosting a big Trunk or Treat bash tomorrow night and the teens, from what I understand, will be operating a "Haunted Bus." It had come to my attention that the teens had cooked up the idea to adhere to a theme and were to come dressed in styles that hearkened back to the Roaring 20's: the guys were to dress as gangsters and the girls would come as flappers. Fine, okay, whatever. But hello? Where am I supposed to get a zoot suit and AK-47 on such short notice? I'm not kidding, I was so stressed out this morning, and I have been paying for it all afternoon and evening--the muscles in my neck and back are screaming.

Darcy had gone to a birthday party and then spent the night with a friend last night so I ran and picked her up at 11:00, brought her home, grabbed Tyler and headed back out. The plan was to simply try to find a fedora at the costume store, and at Randy's suggestion I was going to try to find a shirt, pants and tie that would pass for "gangster" attire but that could also be worn again (think black shirt and pants, white skinny tie). So we drove to Party City where, sure enough, there was a black fedora with a white satin ribbon around the brim (which was falling off, incidentally, but it was nothing that my hot glue gun couldn't fix) for $6 so we grabbed it. Then a helpful store employee pointed us in the direction of "theme" costumes around the corner where, lo and behold, there were shirt "fronts" consisting of a black piece of material and skinny white tie, white "spats," big fat "cigars" and lots of other "bling." Who knew the 20's used so many quotation marks??

Y'all know I'm impulsive, right? Would it surprise you to find out that I did NOT blow off Randy's suggestion and just buy all the gangster components right then and there? No siree, I was focused. I dragged Tyler away from the plastic machine guns (I decided bringing a gun to church wasn't exactly appropriate) and we made our way through the crowds to the register, where I paid for the fedora and we headed out. Next stop: Sears. Easier said than done, as Sears is located at the Parks Mall, and I believe the number of people on Cooper Street attempting to converge on the mall at the same time we were was roughly the same as the population of California. Nevertheless, we finally fought our way into Sears and were directed to the dress clothes, where there was a rather small selection of suit coats and pants from which to choose, and absolutely NO black shirts. Period. $72 later, we walked out with a black suit. $72???! What was I thinking??? I was already tired and frustrated, so I told Tyler we would simply have to go back to Party City, get the stupid shirt front and be done with it. Never mind what your dad says.

We fought our way back to Party City and as I wheeled into a parking space, my cell rang. Tyler handed it to me--"It's Dad." After dispensing with the pleasantries, Randy asked where we were and if I'd found a shirt for Tyler yet. And I just burst into tears and the whole story came pouring out. "I bought a suit! Why did I buy a suit? This is so stupid!" Randy calmly suggested that I simply return the suit, which I fully agreed to, but you realize what that meant, don't you? Another trip to Sears! We literally drove from Party City to Sears to Party City to Sears--clearly I am insane.

The upside of the story is that I did get my money back, and I was so distraught that Randy agreed to take over for me and finish piecing together a costume for Tyler. So after spending 2-1/2 hours shopping and having nothing to show for it but a cheap fedora, we headed home. Randy, being the sweet man that he is, grilled burgers for us and we enjoyed a leisurely lunch, after which he planned to take Tyler and hit the stores again. I must admit that Tyler dragged his feet, not wanting to kill the afternoon the way he did his morning (and who can blame him?), but it's a good thing he did. Before he'd had a chance to take off with his dad, the phone rang and it was his buddy Hunter on the other end, wanting to know what Tyler was going to dress up as for Trunk or Treat.

That Hunter would even ask the question made me start wondering if everybody had gotten the memo about the 20's theme, and sure enough, Hunter was planning to come as Darth Vader. (Is it any wonder why Hunter and Tyler are such good friends? They are kindred spirits who love all things Star Wars!) And not only that, but his older cousin (a girl) was coming dressed as a pirate which basically said one thing to me: If Tyler wasn't dressed according to the theme, he wouldn't be the only one. So I promptly said, "Tyler, since Hunter is coming dressed as Darth Vader, how would you feel about wearing your Clone Trooper costume from last year?" to which he literally sang, "I would LOOOOOOOVVVVVVVE it!"

Which means I technically spent $6 on Halloween costumes between four kids this year--that's right: all of the kids are either wearing costumes from previous years or making up their own (that would be Darcy). Works for me!