Poor Tyler. Poor, poor Tyler. I know he's not the first kid to get the "full" treatment in orthodontics but compared to Darcy's, his mouth looks like it has been outfitted by the Marquis de Sade! First he got the palate expander that prevents him from speaking properly and, apparently, from swallowing food without making this revolting sucking sound that has become the best appetite suppressant I could have ever hoped for! It has also tacked on about ten minutes to his nighttime meds-taking routine, because he keeps getting his Zyrtec caught between his expander and the roof of his mouth and he has to poke and prod and cajole the little scalawag out of hiding!
Next he got the brackets and wires and, according to him, they were tighter and more uncomfortable for him than for any other kid in the history of orthodontia (is that a word?), so of course it must be true. He was on an all-liquid diet for about a week, and nearly refused pain medication claiming it would hurt too much to chew the tablets. The kid has a flair for the dramatic, n'est pas?
But now, NOW he's got the dreaded rubber bands. What a pain! And not only does he have a rubber band running from his upper jaw to his lower jaw on both sides of his mouth, not only are they complicated to place, not only does he have to wear them 24 hours a day . . . as if that weren't bad enough, NOW he has to wear a teeny tiny little rubber band criss-crossed over his two front teeth because the palate expander did its job just a little TOO well and now he has a big gap in his front teeth! Or as he so indelicately put it, "Now I look like Peyton!"
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
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6 comments:
Oral surgery. 3 teeth cut out of my mouth. Headgear for a year and a half, every night. Brackets, rubber bands, crisscrossed rubber bands, rubber bands connecting my top teeth to my bottom teeth. Tyler, I know how you feel man. It's not melodrama, it's fact. :)
...and the real pain is when one of those little suckers stretched from top to bottom snaps...
That's right, Chels. Your dad told me recently that you had the icky palate expander like Tyler's, too. The burning question for him now is, "Why does Darcy get away with a little silver bar when I have to have this big contraption in my mouth?" Life's just not fair no matter how you slice it.
Firewyvern, that very thing woke Tyler up this morning! I'm surprised he didn't swallow it.
My dad lied to you. I did not have a palate expander. Savannah might have, but I think I would remember that.
Come to think of it, maybe he did say it was Savannah. He WAS a little vague on the subject, which is strange because, like you said, ain't NO WAY you'd ever forget one of these!
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